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Freud once called female sexuality "the dark continent," and if that's true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet. Because when it comes to sex , men are far from simple. As much as they may try to convince us otherwise. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can and should be delivered in reality. That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed.

Because when it comes to sexmen are far from simple. As much as they may try to convince us otherwise. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can and should be delivered in reality.

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That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed. Here are their top sex tips for women. It's believed that men are so consumed by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But that couldn't be further from the truth.

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Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection? That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" - AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex.

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That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.

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Once you're in the bedroom and aware of his insecuritiesremind him of how much you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked.

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Other key areas to compliment: His gut, as men often worry about the size of it and other measurable partsand their hair, as guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it. But not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins - of words, thoughts, feelings - and the desire for human connection goes underground.

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So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are for it.

So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you. Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. When you do talk, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment.

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Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected. I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle.

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Is there a compromise that will work for both of us? It can be as simple as asking to cuddle for five minutes before a shower, or even showering together.

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The words women want to hear from men during sex will shock you

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